Have you ever noticed how often people say “you know”, “like”, or fill the space with a stretched
“umm”?
These “filler words” sneak into our conversations, presentations, and even interviews. Most often,
fillers sneak in at two points: right at the start, when we’re just opening our mouths, and in between
ideas, when our brain is catching up to what we want to say next. They’re not harmful in small
doses—but when they pile up, they weaken our message and distract the listener.

Why do we rely on filler words?

One reason goes back to childhood—we were taught to answer questions right away. Whether out
of respect for our parents or fear of what might happen if we stayed silent, we learned to respond
instantly. That habit sticks with us, creating pressure to “say something” the moment we’re asked.
Another reason is the fear of silence or that awkward moment it brings with it. However, the truth is
simple: silence is not the enemy. In fact, silence can be one of your most powerful communication
tools.

Why fillers hurt your speech:
• They dilute your message. Instead of sounding confident and clear, your words come
across as hesitant.
• They distract the audience. Listeners focus on the “umm” instead of your idea.
• They reduce impact. Powerful messages need pauses, not clutter.

Why silence is stronger:
• It signals confidence. Pausing shows that you’re in control of your pace.
• It helps ideas land. A short pause allows your audience to absorb your point.
• It gives you time. Silence gives you space to think before you speak, rather than scrambling
for fillers.

How to practice embracing silence:
1. Record yourself. Notice how often fillers creep in.
2. Slow down. Speaking more slowly reduces the urge to fill gaps.
3. Replace “umm” with a pause. Breathe instead of speaking noise.
4. Get comfortable with space. Treat silence as part of your message, not an interruption.

It’s important to remember that every word you say should serve a purpose. Filling space with “you
know” or “like” isn’t necessary. The silence itself can carry authority, clarity, and impact.
So the next time you feel the urge to fill the quiet, stop. Breathe. Let the pause do the work.